No hope left
by Panna S
Summary: Johan came back to North Acadamy. Judai didn't say goodbye to him. One-shot in two chapters. Spiritshipping. Thoughts, angst, OOC, emo alert?
1. The Sun

**Here, Yubel is a girl. It's one shot in two chapters. **

**Sorry for my English, anyway. I'm Pole. You know, vódka, kiełbasa, socks with sandals and so on...**  
**So forgive my simply, narrow vocabulary and grammar mistakes.**

* * *

**__**

_I love him._

_And I let him go that easy._

_It's not my fault! Not at all._

_It's because of her._

_Because of promise._

"Yubel, I want to duel him."  
"No, I won't allow. You promised me not to talk so to anyone. Especially to him."

_I had enough. After he left I felt angry. Firstly, with him. Secondly, with me. Thirdly, with Yubel. And I should have only be angry with her._

_I didn't even say "goodbye" nor "see ya" to him._

"You promised me. You could only love me, Judai."

"No!" I yelled. "It's not me. Haou did the promise. The other me."

I hit my head on wall. It hurts. But this pain… This pain in my heart was stronger. It could finish me off, anytime.

"You will hurt yourself." Noticed Yubel.

"I don't care."

"But I am worr-"

"You're part of my soul. That's all I could do for you. Isn't that too much?"

"Johan wanted to have you on his own."

"Lie! You're describing yourself! Not him!"

The longer conversation lasted, the more angry I was.

"I…"

"You have pushed me away from him. From my friends. I am not the same person I was earlier. I have changed. Because of promise."

"… Judai."

_The worst thing is that I am sad now. And I guess I could never be happy again. Because he's gone._  
_Well, I hope at least you are happy, Yubel. My friends are keeping the distance from me. And Johan is not here. Be proud of yourself. You love is something special._

_Is there any benefit? I don't think so._

_O, hey. I know what may be benefit. I realized how much Johan means to me._

_When I rescued him from other dimension I felt relief. I could become a hero! In that moment I was sure I could do everything!_

"Judai… You came to save me?" Johan asked in disbelief.  
I smiled to him warmly.

If I could only turn back time. He woudn't had left me. He did it on purpose. He wanted to make me happy without making a trouble. He thought that he was the reason I have changed.

Why have you done it?

Now everyday is the same.

Cold.

Sad.

_Empty._


	2. The Moon

_I love him._

_And I left him that easy.  
It's not my fault… Not at all.  
I don't know what had happened._

"Judai, you want to duel me?" I smiled.  
"No. I don't want to."

_I didn't understand why keeps ignoring me. Maybe I was too bossy?  
Anyway, I decided to left. I couldn't extend my visit._

We haven't even say "goodbye" to each other.  
It was sad.

I couldn't handle it. This pain.

I wanted to scream.

I feel weak.  
It hurts.  
But the pain in my heart was stronger.

What I did wrong?

"May you tell me what's going on?" I asked friendly.  
"No. I can't."  
"Well, if you have problem, you can tell me already."  
"Johan!" he screamed "It's not that easy! I ca-"  
"Okey." I gave up "I won't be inquisitive." I started to walk away.  
"No!" Judai got in my way tried to stop me. "It's hard to me to explain my "change". But I need you to keep distance from me. For your safe."  
"Tomorrow I am leaving Duel Academy." I said abruptly.  
"What?"  
"I am leaving. North Academy has sent helicopter-"  
"You're jocking!"  
"Weren't that you who had talked about keeping the distance?  
"Johan" Judai was shocked.  
I walked away.

"Yeah. GO! It would be better!" he yelled.

I lost him.

_The saddest day in my life, I guess._

He pushed me away from himself. Form his friends.  
He is not the same person I have met at first. He have changed.  
Because of what?

"Judai."

_I am sad now. I don't think I should be happy in any time._

If I could make things better, let it be. I want him to be happy not to be sad. If my look makes him mad, I would leave. Only to make him happy. That's the most important to be right now.

Happy Judai.

I realized how much he means to me. I need no reason to leave if he could be happy. I will leave immediately even it could be troublesome. Only to make him happy.

I don't need to be here, in Duel Academy.

I met many great people but only Judai was my friend. And now he's different.

I could not handle it.

When he had rescued me I feel happiness. I was safe. I could be free.

"Judai… You came to save me?" I asked in disbelief.  
He answered with his warm smile on face.

His last smile at me.

_Tilgi meg._


End file.
